Since this is my first post, I suppose I should go on and explain my plan for world domination motives.
Much like Kaleb Nation from http://www.twilightguy.com/, Twilight has inspired me to do my own Chapter-by-Chapter breakdown of S.Meyer’s stories. But unlike Twilight Guy, who will be doing all the books, I’ll just do Breaking Dawn. I think I have more to say about it than all the others since I just finished it recently, like most of you guys have. Plus with all the crazy controversy surrounding this particular book……mwahahaha…..oh this will be fun won’t it?

WARNING WARNING: spoilers are swarming everywhere!

Let’s get started!


Seriously when I first read about Bella’s new car, I pictured it would look something like this….



nanananananana BATMAN!

I mean what else besides the batmobile has 4000 lbs of body armor with missile proof glass? And by all means Edward can afford to buy Bella a batmobile of her very own if he felt like it.

Alas no batmobile though. Instead we get this….

Mercedes Benz S600 Guard

and here it is on fire!

Quite snazzy but I definitely think it was an Alice and Edward car murdering sabotage scheme that forced the Chevy truck to die. Old age….pshhhhh! I can just picture it now…

*Alice and Edward drops down from the trees near Bella’s house Mission Impossible style while Jasper drops down behind them with a tool box*
*They are all in leather jumpsuits*

Alice: Ready?
Edward: Yes, do you see anyone coming?
Alice: No, do you hear anyone coming?
Edward: …..No, but Jasper can you please calm down your thoughts. I seriously can’t take you thinking about Alice in that way. *shakes head in distress*
Jasper: Sorry…. leather looks good on her
Alice: Focus boys, we are here on one mission and one mission only
Edward: Yes. Lets go

*They dash off to Bella’s truck, pop open the hood, and take a look at its innards*

Edward: Jasper, wire cutters please
Jasper: Check *hands him pliers*
Edward: Thank you. Alice, which one of these should I cut to make sure that when Bella starts the car she won’t blow up?
Alice: Oh I don’t know. I won’t know until you decide to cut a certain one.
Edward: *sigh* Ok, I’m cutting this one……..well?
Alice: Edward it doesn’t work like that…..duh. You can’t just “pretend” to decide to cut one and then expect me to see something.
Edward: *sigh*
Jasper: I have a solution. *winds up and kicks the truck* There, that wasn’t so hard.
*car coughs and sputters and a tire blows out*
*Alice, Jasper, and Edward flee the scene*

My favorite scene of this chapter by far though is when Edward and Bella tell Charlie they’re getting married. It reminds me of what might happen if I told my father I was getting married to Edward, except my dad might actually shoot Edward and think I was actually pregnant and then explode instead of laughing it off in the end like Charlie did. I was quite surprised though that Charlie didn’t explode or freak or something.

I pictured it more like this…

Charlie: YOU’RE PREGNANT!?!?!?!
Bella: NOOONONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOO! *Roar*
Charlie: Oh sorry.
Edward: We’re getting married!
Charlie:
Edward: …..just give him a minute…

What was even more surprising though was Renee’s reaction. So calm and like an understanding parent. There seems to be so few of those in this world sometimes. If I were Renee though this is how that phone call would happen…

Bella: I’m marrying Edward.
Renee: Well Duh! What took you so long? He’s a hottie. I’m surprised you haven’t jumped him yet.
Bella: MOM!!!?!?!?!?!?! AHHHHHHHHH! My poor teenaged brain is melting….
Renee: Oh honey, stop it! Go to your happy place.

Oh the happy place….*daydreams until brain is temporarily dysfunctional due to dazzle factor*